Friday, September 7, 2012

Pet Peeve: "I want to be her"

This isn't really a new concept to anyone reading or to this blog - I've discussed something similar in another Pet Peeve post. It is a little different though, and I think it deserves a category of its own.

Even if you're not a negative person and don't think in terms of "Wow, she needs to stop being so good" or "Wow, I want to kill her for being so good," you might think in terms of "Wow, I wish I was her." This 'positive spin', I think, is an even worse offense than the competitive negativity of the first two statements. We all have had moments when we wish we could be as brilliant as the girl in front of us at the barre. But what does that really mean?
From an episode of Bunheads: Photo Credit
When you wish that you were in someone else's shoes and living their life and dancing with their talent, you're giving up the notion of your own individuality. You relinquish everything that makes you uniquely you. You're acknowledging that their existence is worth more than your own. Should it be that way? Absolutely not!

As is with many art forms, imitation is the highest form of flattery. Imitate all you like - choose the best from the people around you, make note of the worst, and dance the way you see as "perfect" in your mind's eye. But don't wish you were someone else. Never doubt that you have something that they don't - and that maybe they were wishing they were you too.


  1. Great insight!! It makes so much sense when you write it out. :) It helps me realize that I'm me, and I can't be anyone else. It especially helps because there is a girl in my dance class that is "perfect."

    1. I totally know what you mean - there was always one girl at my studio who was the "perfect" one that all the teachers loved and paid the most attention to. She was a year older than me, so after she graduated, I somehow took over that role...and I hated it, because I saw how many people looked up to me and I didn't like the pressure of being "the perfect one" when I knew that I wasn't. We are who we are. All you can do is be the best you there possibly can be.