What started as an offhanded comment to my mom about how under-accomplished I feel compared to some of my college dance classmates (saw one in an ad in Dance Magazine, saw a few more on TV) ended in crying over my (lack of) future prospects in the dance field.
- No, I'm not the best dancer in my program.
- No, I do not go to the best dance program ever.
- No, I do not have that much training compared to most dancers.
- No, I do not have an agent and have never danced professionally.
- No, I do not have any "real world" experience.
It's scary. I still have time left in college (thank goodness), but I'm already daunted by the idea of moving so far away from home into one of the most expensive cities in the world with one of the least lucrative job aspirations. I don't come from a family that can support me no matter how much money I'm losing on rent or how many injuries I sustain - I'm pretty much on my own. Supporting myself with dance seems unlikely, and even less likely given the fact that I'm not even the most noticeable dancer in my own college program.
There are so many times I have wished that I loved something else (like theoretical physics). But I don't, I have to accept the fact that I'm meant to dance. I have been incredibly lucky thus far with my timing and the opportunities given to me, and I am thankful for each one. Even though it's hard sometimes, I have faith that I'm a dancer and that that's okay. I may not be the best, but I'm good. Every company, choreographer, group, etc is looking for something different, and I believe that I have something that somebody will see and say 'I want to hire that.' I don't expect anything, but I also believe in my accumulated skills on and off the dance floor. And when you get scared, you should too. Just have faith, and don't lose hope. It's all part of the dance life.